Birth Stories

Colette's Birth February 2021

Thank you Elizabeth and Sander for sharing the birth of your daughter Colette.  

Hi Kate,
 
Yesterday marked 6 weeks since Sander and I first held Colette in our arms. I have to say - I think we have been very lucky with a baby who is calm most of the time, and I believe that part of that comes from the fact that we had a peaceful pregnancy and delivery, which was reinforced by the hypnobirthing course we took with you.
 
I’d like to tell you more about the delivery itself, as that is where the benefits from the hypnobirthing course are most evident. 
 
Prior to labor, I was very curious about what surges would feel like. The common wisdom I heard from most I spoke with was, “You’ll know when you have contractions.” 
 
Looking back, I did not know that the first surges I had were in fact signs that Colette wanted to make her way out into the world. Though I did not realize it at the time, they started at around 8:00 p.m. three days after my Valentine’s Day due date. I started having some of my lower abdominal muscles tightening in a way that I had not experienced before. I became excited hoping that just maybe these were the first signs of labor, but thinking more rationally that since this was my first pregnancy that it is most likely my body just practicing for the real thing. Since the common wisdom was that I would know if they were contractions and I was not sure, I figured that I should not get too excited. I also recalled an excerpt from Ina May’s book in which she wrote that she advises first-time moms who start having contractions in the evening to have a glass of wine and go to bed, since usually the real action takes so long to begin and it’s better to have a good night’s rest for when that happens.
 
Since it was only 8:00 p.m., it was too early for me to fall asleep and I was not in the mood for having a glass of wine, so Sander and I starting watching one of our favorite TV shows to pass the time. The tightening of my muscles was happening rather frequently, so around 9:00 p.m. I decided to take a shower, which is supposed to be a test of whether surges are real or not - if they are Braxton-Hicks contractions then they should go away after.
 
But, once I got out of a long shower, I realized that the surges were happening more frequently rather than less. Plus, I started to have a few more signs of labor - namely, I began to vomit and have diarrhea. With these factors taken into consideration, I began to think that labor was starting, so around 10:30 p.m. I started to use an app to monitor the frequency of my lower abdominal muscles tightening.
 
At that point, Sander and I went to bed to try to relax. He created a calm environment and was holding me and stroking my back. I felt quite mellow even as my belly tightened and released. I thought of the imagery you told us during the course, of roses coming into bloom and hot air balloons rising. I started imagining the muscles of my uterus opening up and thinking that this is what my body is designed to do.
 
During the course we spoke about fears we had during delivery, and it wasn’t until I was in this moment that I realized a big fear of mine was getting to the hospital and having to go back home because I was not actually in labor. 
 
So it wasn’t 1:00 a.m., until my tummy tightened every 5 minutes for 60 seconds, that I had enough conviction to call the hospital to see if it was appropriate for me to go in. The midwife I spoke with seemed a bit hesitant to give the go-ahead based on my timeline, but agreed it was best if I came in so that she could check for herself. 
 
Sander collected the last few things we would need for a hospital stay, and we jumped into an Uber to head to Delta. While I was in the car, I became quite distracted and realized my surges stopped. 
 
Then, another fear entered my mind that maybe labor would be reversed once I was out of my comfortable environment, so I simply closed my eyes and imagined the muscles of my uterus opening up, and immediately I had more surges. It was definitely a moment that gives proof of the principle of mind over matter.
 
We checked in and a midwife guided us to a delivery room. She hooked up various machines to monitor my blood pressure and contractions. The screen showing contractions showed that nothing was happening even though I had sensations in my lower abs. I then thought, “Well, this is it. We’ll be sent home soon.” 
 
But instead, a moment later, I felt a big gush of liquid between my legs. My water had broken so I called the midwife back. After cleaning up a bit, she checked and saw I was 4 cm dilated. She started to run a bath, and Sander went around the room to make the environment cozier, such as dimming the lights and covering me with blankets and pillows. I jumped in the bath and Sander was there next to me, stroking my arm as I closed my eyes to imagine my body opening up. 
 
After about 20 minutes I needed to get out of the bath to go to the toilet. At this point, it was difficult to be out of the water and come to terms with the force of gravity. I laid down on a bench in the room once I was out of the bathroom instead of going back into the bathtub - I had reached a new level of sensation that was much more intense and I didn’t want to have reckon with the difficulty of the no-gravity to gravity switch again. 
 
My natural reaction was to begin moaning as these new sensations came, and Sander picked up that this could be entering a new phase of labor and called the midwife to come back into the room. She checked and I was already at 9 cm - just an hour and a half after she had previously checked. She jumped into action to call my doctor, and took the precaution to call in another midwife in case the baby would arrive before the doctor could make it to the room in time.
 
I was helped onto the delivery bed and from there I felt Colette start to arrive. Supported and encouraged by Sander, the two midwives, and my doctor, who arrived just in time, I felt surges and knew instinctively that it was the moment to “push out the coconut’ as my physical therapist described it. 
 
A few loud moans and down breaths later, Sander and I got to meet our baby for the first time. She was much softer and more alert than I imagined she’d be. The three of us held each other as the midwives and doctor continued to do what they needed to do. We had a wonderful first moment as a newly formed family.
 
As you can tell, we used many of the techniques from the hypnobirthing course during these 8 hours and I am convinced they helped to make the experience empowering and positive. We were able to maintain a calm environment as we went to the maternity ward to recover and as we came home. 
 
More importantly, the course helped to give Sander and me a framework to discuss what we would and wouldn’t like and ensure we’re on the same page.
 
Thank you again for introducing us to hypnobirthing and I hope you can share this with many other couples in the future to de-bunk the myth that childbirth is difficult and painful and instead can be empowering and calm.
 
With warm regards,
Elizabeth